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CRY BABY

SCRIPT - DIALOGUE TRANSCRIPT

Written Angela Sugden

 

Director: John Waters
Writer: John Waters
With : Johnny Depp, Amy Locane, Susan Tyrrell, Polly Bergen, Iggy Pop, Ricki Lake, Traci Lords, Kim McGuire, Darren E. Burrows, Troy Donahue

 

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Mr Malnorowski

Get your cigarettes. Penny a piece. Six for a nickel.

 

Mrs Malnorowski

You owe me from yesterday, young man.

 

Student

Please, look, I'll pay you tomorrow.

 

Mrs Malnorowski

Wouldn't you like to have one?

 

Student

Oh, come on, just a drag. Just a drag!

 

Mrs Malnorowski

No cash, no tobacco. Go on, scram. Hey, Mona! Get over here and help your poor mother.

 

Mrs Woodward

Hi, kids. Remember, always look both ways before crossing.

 

Wanda

Mother!

 

Mrs Woodward

We're having your favourite supper tonight, Wanda. Potatoes au gratin. Now walk. Look left, look right. That's right, then walk. Good teenagers.

 

Milton

Are you gonna work this summer?

 

Mr Woodward

Wanda, honey. You want a ride home with Dad?

 

Wanda

I got a lift. Thanks, anyway.

 

Mr Woodward

We could count out-of-state licence plates. I saw one this morning all the way up from Virginia.

 

Wanda

Dad, would you just leave me alone?

 

Mr Woodward

Bye, honey.

 

Allison

I'm so tired of being good. Hi.

 

Cry-Baby

Well. You're a pretty little Square. Wanna hang out with us Drapes tonight?

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Allison Vernon Williams, get in this car.

 

Baldwin

What's the trouble, honey? These hoodlums bothering you?

 

Allison

No, no, we were just talking. Grandmother, Baldwin, this is Wade Walker.

 

Cry-Baby

They call me Cry-Baby. This here's my sister, Pepper.

 

Pepper

Greetings, Granny-o.

 

Baldwin

Allison's my girl, so hands off, Cry-Baby.

 

Cry-Baby

You could've fooled me, Square. Mrs Vernon Williams, I hear you're having a talent show out at your charm school today.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

I can barely imagine what you would call music.

 

Cry-Baby

I can sing pretty good.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Well", not "good". Haven't you ever heard of the English language?

 

Pepper

Don't go and flip out, mama.

 

Hatchet-Face

Yeah. Sometimes shook-up old ladies... get cut.

 

Baldwin

Come on, honey. They're just bums.

 

Wanda

Mr Puniverse wants a fat lip.

 

Allison

I'd like to hear you sing.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

I will say this once, and once only. Stay away from my granddaughter, you common juvenile delinquents.

 

Allison

It was nice talking to you all.

 

Cry-Baby

Let's go.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

The prettiest and most talented girl in school, and yet she socializes with Drapes.

 

Baldwin

We're Squares, Allison, and Squares got to stick together.

 

Allison

Yeah, but Drapes are people too, they just look different. Maybe Cry-Baby can sing. Something cool, something hep.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

And where did you learn those vulgar jazz words? Your poor dead parents would turn over in their graves.

 

Baldwin

It's those jukebox records she listens to. Honey, his kind of music isn't even on the Hit Parade.

 

Allison

How can I think when you're always touching me?

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

I have told you, Baldwin, a young lady does not like to be pawed.

 

Cry-Baby & Wanda (singing)

The women want a Cadillac, She don't want no man, I used to have a woman, Said she loved me so, I used to have a woman, Said she loved me so...

 

Pepper

I think Cry-Baby's got a girlfriend.

 

Milton

Cry-Baby and Allison sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

 

Cry-Baby

Shut up, Milton.

 

Wanda

Hey, Hatchet-Face, you think Cry-Baby's got blue balls for the chick?

 

Hatchet-Face

Allison's a Square, Wanda. Cry-Baby don't dig Squares.

 

Pepper

No, she's a "Scrape". Part Square, part Drape. I think she's pretty.

 

Wanda

Cry-Baby want some hooch?

 

Cry-Baby

I don't drink and drive.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

You're too young to know the shameful truth about the Walker boy's family. But let me warn you, evil is in his blood.

 

Cry-Baby, Pepper, Wanda, Milton & Hatchet-Face (singing)

Oh, please, listen to me...

 

Baldwin

Move up, now.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

That's not funny.

 

Cry-Baby (singing)

Why I love that girl, love that girl. Hold me, baby, squeeze me. Never let me go. I'm not taking chances...

 

Baldwin

You're a dead man, Walker.

 

Cry-Baby, Pepper, Wanda, Milton & Hatchet-Face (singing)

Oh, gee. Yes, I love her.

 

Baldwin

Car!

 

Cry-Baby (singing)

...why I love that girl.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen... and welcome to the annual RSVP Talent Show.

 

Audience

Good afternoon, Mrs Vernon Williams.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

First I must apologise for my frazzled nerves. However, this afternoon we were attacked... by a gang of juvenile delinquents. It's all right. No one was injured. Juvenile delinquents are everywhere. Right here in this community. Boys with long hair and tattoos, who spit on the sidewalk.

 

Old Woman

Can't believe it.

 

Woman

How disgusting.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Girls, who wear tight slacks. Hysterectomy pants, I call them. And if one of these creatures ever approach you on the street, you are to silently repeat to yourself the four "B's" you learned here at RSVP. And what are they children, the four "B's"?

 

Audience

Beauty, brains, breeding, bounty!

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Yes! Yes!

 

Mr Hackett

Teenagers everywhere repent! Let Jesus Christ be your gang leader! Get out of Turkey Point before it's too late.

 

Toe-Joe

Oh, take it easy, honey. I'm not getting any younger here, you know. That is what I call a really great shape. Knockers up, sweetheart. Here it is! Beautiful. All right, here you go, honey pot. Thanks for the picture. All right, who's up? Toe-Joe Jackson's art photography right here! Be a nudie-cutie, make good money to bootie. Hey, I'm paying three bucks a shot. You got it, what the hell, why not show it, right? Hey, you. Yeah, you, the looker with the class-A sealed-beam headlights. You want to pose for Toe-Joe?

 

Wanda

Beat it, creep.

 

Mrs Hackett

Here he comes now, with that devil woman.

 

Hatchet-Face

Hi, Mrs Hackett.

 

Mr Hackett

Imagine our shame. Our only child, and he carries illegal weapons, drives fast cars, and wears clothes obviously designed by homosexuals. But he knows better. Jesus is still in his heart.

 

Milton

Jeez, Mom and Dad, go home. You're embarrassing me. I'm a teenager. I wanna live. Looks like somebody lost their laundry.

 

Lenora

Hello, Cry-Baby. You scorch me, man.

 

Cry-Baby

Later, Lenora.

 

Lenora

Oh, but, Cry-Baby, I need a date for tonight's Jukebox Jamboree.

 

Cry-Baby

Well, I'm solo, sugar.

 

Lenora

Wanna see these gun-boats? I give, Cry-Baby. I give bare second on the first date.

 

Cry-Baby

Use your mentality and cool down.

 

Wanda

Yeah, Lenora, your bosoms ain't nothing.

 

Hatchet-Face

Better watch it, bozo. You might catch a cold.

 

Pepper

My brother wouldn't touch your titties with a ten foot pole. He likes his women bad, Lenora, not cheap.

 

Baldwin (singing)

Life could be a dream. If I could take you up in paradise up above. If you would tell me, I'm the only one that you love. Life could be a dream, sweetheart.

 

Whiffles (singing)

Hello, hello again. Sh boom, I'm hoping we'll meet again.

 

Baldwin (singing)

Oh, life could be a dream. If only all my precious plans would come true. If you would let me spend my whole life loving you. Life could be a dream, sweetheart.

 

Baldwin & Whiffles (singing)

Sh boom, sh boom. Sh boom, sh boom. Sh boom, sh boom. Sh boom. Now, every time I look at you. Something is on my mind. If you'd do what I want to you. Baby, we'd be so fine. Oh, life could be a dream. If I could take you up in paradise up above. If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love.

 

Baldwin (singing)

Life could be a dream, sweetheart.

 

Baldwin & Whiffles (singing)

Hello, hello again. Sh boom, I'm hoping we'll meet again. Sh boom, sh boom.

 

Baldwin (singing)

Life could be a dream, sweetheart.

 

Cry-Baby

Uncle Belvedere!

 

Belvedere

You caught me in my birthday suit, buck-naked.

 

Pepper

Grandma, we're home!

 

Dupree

How much?

 

Ramona

That muffler? Dupree, for you... fifteen bucks take it or leave it.

 

Dupree

Come on, Ramona. Ten. This thing's hotter than a pistol.

 

Ramona

You guys wanna do business with Ramona Rickettes, or would you rather shop at Sears? Now, give me the bread and keep your trap shut!

 

Dupree

You're a hard woman.

 

Ramona

I'm gonna see you in hell, Dupree. Go on, get outta here.

 

Pepper

Have you been bothering you great-grandma all day? She has customers.

 

Dupree

Hell, no. They helped me steal a car.

 

Snare-Drum

It's a fifty-one Olds. It's really cool.

 

Pepper

That's my little Snare-Drum.

 

Susie-Q

And Ma, I swiped six hubcaps like a big girl.

 

Pepper

Way to go, Susie-Q.

 

Snare-Drum

Make those monster faces, Hatchet. Please.

 

Ramona

Goddamn gopher's digging up my front yard. What are you teenagers waiting for? Turkey Point is open for business! Let's celebrate! Yee-ha!

 

Belvedere

Come on.

 

Ramona

Come on.

 

Belvedere

Come on, everybody. Come on in. Today's a special day for me and your grandmother. We've been together ten whole years.

 

Ramona

I'm just so proud of all my Drape children. Oh, Wanda, you sure is pretty in them tight clothes, all painted up like trash.

 

Wanda

I wish you and Belvedere were my parents.

 

Ramona

Oh... Now, Milton... boy, you are everything a man should be. You're young, stupid and mean.

 

Milton

We're gonna play some cool music for you tonight, Ramona.

 

Ramona

And, Hatchet-Face. Oh, honey. You're just like me. Now, you put the "T" in "tough". So hard, you could've been eating nails for breakfast. But that's the way a woman's got to be these days.

 

Hatchet-Face

I'd kick a Square's ass for you in a minute, Mrs Rickettes.

 

Ramona

Oh, this is the best gang my grandson could ever have.

 

Pepper

Grandma, I'm so happy all knocked up... I wish I was having triplets.

 

Ramona

Well, we've got a little surprise for your young'un in your oven. You show her, Bel.

 

Belvedere

Sure will.

 

Cry-Baby

Oh, Pepper, ain't that cute?

 

Pepper

It's beautiful, Grandma.

 

Ramona

Cry-Baby. When you was a boy, you had to be the man of this family.

 

Belvedere

But I taught you how to dress, didn't I, Cry-Baby?

 

Cry-Baby

Sure did, Uncle Bel.

 

Ramona

Oh, well. You're the future now, boy. You're the only future for this godforsaken family. And I want you to go out there tonight and sing, boy. I want you to sing your heart out. You can show him now, Belvedere. This took a lot of hubcaps, Cry-Baby.

 

Hatchet-Face

Wow.

 

Pepper

Whoa.

 

Snare-Drum

Cool.

 

Susie-Q

Cool.

 

Pepper

Wow.

 

Snare-Drum

That's neat.

 

Cry-Baby

Grandmother, Uncle Belvedere... you've made me the happiest juvenile delinquent in Baltimore. And guess what? I met a girl!

 

Allison (singing)

My friends all know it. How I adore him. I've whispered to angels. What I'd do for him. He is the answer. To a teenage prayer. He won't go steady. The crowd has told me. But I keep waiting. To have him hold me. Why won't you listen? To a teenage prayer. I wait by the window at seven. And chill when my thrill passes by. His kiss could send me to heaven. Into his arms I would fly... My girlfriend, Betty. Tells me he's lazy. But I know Betty. Loves him like crazy. He is the answer to a teenage prayer. Yes, he is the answer...

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

All right, girls. What this is, this is unfortunately a red alert. So please take your duck-and-cover positions immediately. It, it is only an air-raid drill. There are no atom bombs actually being dropped.

 

Baldwin

You were incredible, honey. Where did you learn to sing like that?

 

Allison

Just practicing. Baldwin.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

All right, boys and girls. That's the all-clear signal. You can come out now. Everyone is safe and sound. Stay in your places.

 

Baldwin

Whiffle. Is he here? Is he here? I can't see anything.

 

Square

Yeah, that's him. Cry-Baby Walker.

 

Cry-Baby

I'm sorry about this afternoon, Mrs Vernon Williams. Is Allison home? 'Cos, er, I'm going to sing tonight and I thought she might like to hear me. Aagh!

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Baldwin! Mind your manners.

 

Baldwin

This is what we think of your kind of music.

 

Allison

How dare you hit him! You don't own me, Baldwin. I have the right to hear Cry-Baby sing.

 

Baldwin

Don't get all worked up, honey. The punk got what he deserved.

 

Cry-Baby

Come on.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Allison.

 

Square

Get up. Get up. Go!

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Allison.

 

Cry-Baby

Hop on, honey.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Just one minute, young lady.

 

Cry-Baby

Listen, I'll take good care of her, Mrs Vernon Williams. I promise. And it's okay about my face. It don't hurt much.

 

Allison

Please. It's not a school night and I've been a good girl. Just one night of happiness, that's all I ask.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

But... what if you get your dress dirty?

 

Allison

Thank you, grandmother.

 

Cry-Baby

You okay? I didn't get no axle grease on you, did I?

 

Allison

No. No, I'm fine.

 

Cry-Baby

You been to Turkey Point before?

 

Allison

My grandmother wouldn't let me. She calls it the Redneck Riviera.

 

Cry-Baby

It's where I live. Beautiful, ain't it?

 

Allison

It's really wild. But I'm, I'm afraid that I'm not gonna fit in here. You know, with your friends and stuff.

 

Cry-Baby

You're cool, Allison. You just look Square. Underneath it all, I think you're really hep.

 

Hatchet-Face

Well, what have we here?

 

Wanda

First Square to ever set foot in Turkey Point.

 

Pepper

Hey, fine mama. Welcome to the Jukebox Jamboree.

 

Cry-Baby

These are the Cry-Baby girls. That's Wanda.

 

Wanda

Dig it, babe. You need a new look.

 

Hatchet-Face

Don't you got tits? Stick 'em out, for God's sake.

 

Cry-Baby

That's Hatchet-Face. She don't mean no harm.

 

Pepper

First thing a Cry-Baby girl learns, our bazooms are our weapons.

 

Cry-Baby

Now, Pepper's pregnant. But she can fight like a man.

 

Wanda

I wouldn't be caught dead in a full skirt.

 

Pepper

Hey girls, what do you think? Let's give Allison here a bad-girl beauty makeover. Are you game?

 

Allison

Sure. Think I got what it takes?

 

Cry-Baby

You got it, Allison. You got it raw.

 

Ramona

Hey, hey, hey! Dig it all you hep cats and cool chicks. You know me. Ramona Rickettes! Now let me introduce to you the Cry-Baby Combo... Milton, Pepper, Wanda, Hatchet-Face.

 

Snare-Drum & Susie-Q

Hi, Mom.

 

Ramona

And now, the baddest baby of them all... the man you came here for... the big boo-hoo... the terrible teardrop... ladies and gentlemen, my grandson, Cry-Baby!

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Well, one for all and all for one. And all we want is to have some fun. Squares beware of our property. Yeah, if you're looking to rumble, you're looking at me. 'Cos I'm the king. 'Cos I'm the king.

 

Cry-Baby Combo (singing)

King cry baby.

 

Cry-Baby (singing)

Yeah, I'm the king.

 

Cry-Baby Combo (singing)

King cry baby.

 

Cry-Baby (singing)

A king with a tear in my eye. If you mess with the king, you're gonna cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry. Well, I was born on the wrong side of the tracks. In the back seat of a stolen Cadillac. I had my first cigarette before I could walk. And I was strumming this guitar before I could talk. 'Cos I'm the king.

 

Cry-Baby Combo (singing)

King cry baby.

 

Cry-Baby (singing)

Yeah, I'm the king.

 

Cry-Baby Combo (singing)

King cry baby.

 

Cry-Baby (singing)

Oh, I'm the king.

 

Cry-Baby Combo (singing)

King cry baby.

 

Cry-Baby (singing)

A king cry baby with a tear in my eye. If you mess with the king, you're gonna cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry. Well, I'm a lonely king who needs a queen. Yeah, you're the sweetest hunk of sugar that I've ever seen. Ain't got a ring or a crown for you. Well, if I had your love. I'd lose these cry baby blues.

 

Cry-Baby Combo (singing)

She's the queen.

 

Ramona

Go on now, honey.

 

Belvedere

Go on.

 

Ramona

Go on.

 

Cry-Baby Combo (singing)

She's the queen.

 

Allison (singing)

Well, let people talk, I don't care. Let me prove to you, daddy, that I ain't no Square.

 

Cry-Baby (singing)

You be my queen and I'll be your king. Yeah, but if you leave my hive, you're gonna feel my sting. 'Cos you're my queen.

 

Allison (singing)

You're the king.

 

Cry-Baby & Allison (singing)

King, queen.

 

Cry-Baby (singing)

A king cry baby with my queen by my side.

 

Cry-Baby & Allison (singing)

And if you mess with us, man, you're gonna cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry. Cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry. Cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry.

 

Cry-Baby

Kiss me. Kiss me hard.

 

Allison

I've never given a French kiss before.

 

Cry-Baby

Watch. It's easy. You just open your mouth... and I open mine... and we wiggle our tongues together. And it feels real sexy.

 

Allison

I won't get mononucleosis, will I?

 

Cry-Baby

No, Allison. Just try it. If you don't like it, I promise I'll stop.

 

Square

Break the window.

 

Cry-Baby

I'm sorry, Allison. It's just that... you're so beautiful.

 

Allison

I want to let you, but I can't. For my parents' sake. Cry-Baby, they're both dead. I'm an orphan.

 

Cry-Baby

I'm sorry, Allison. No wonder we're together, honey. I'm an orphan, too.

 

Allison

You are?

 

Cry-Baby

Yes. And orphans have special needs.

 

Allison

Just on the outside of the shirt, okay?

 

Cry-Baby

Is it okay with you?

 

Allison

Yes. Oh, yes. My parents were, they were good people and they loved me.

 

Cry-Baby

I want you. I need you. I love you, too, Allison.

 

Allison

They had to go on a business trip together. It was their first airplane ride. Oh, Cry-Baby, your fingers feel so good.

 

Cry-Baby

I've been saving it up for a girl like you, honey.

 

Allison

Mummy and Daddy took separate planes for safety. In case one plane crashed, I'd still have a living parent. But, Cry-Baby, both planes crashed and I never saw my parents alive again.

 

Cry-Baby

God damn! Lightning!

 

Allison

What's the matter, Cry-Baby?

 

Cry-Baby

Everything's the matter.

 

Allison

It's just a thunderstorm. Heat lightning. It's sexy.

 

Cry-Baby

It's not sexy. Electricity makes me insane.

 

Allison

Why, Cry-Baby, why?

 

Cry-Baby

Here's why. Electricity killed my parents.

 

Allison

They died in the electric chair?

 

Cry-Baby

That's right, Allison. My father was the Alphabet Bomber. He may have been crazy, but he was my pop. The only one I ever had.

 

Allison

God. I heard about the Alphabet Bomber. Bombs exploding in the, in the airport and barbershop.

 

Cry-Baby

That's right, all in alphabetical order. Carwash, drugstore. I used to lay in my cradle and hear him scream in his sleep. A, B, C, D, E, F, G... Pow! Pow!

 

Allison

But your mom?

 

Cry-Baby

My mother tried to stop him. She couldn't even spell, for Christ's sake, but they fried her, too. But I'll pay them all back, Allison. Any that's why every day, I gotta do something rotten for my parents' sake, and I cry for what I have to do. But not much, though. One single, salty tear... is all they'll ever suck out of this Cry-Baby.

 

Pepper

Cry-Baby!

 

Lenora

I'm going to have his baby.

 

Baldwin

Allison!

 

Allison

Oh, my God. What have they done to you?

 

Baldwin

Allison, come home. They beat me and kicked me. All because I love you.

 

Cry-Baby

Get on.

 

Baldwin

Don't do it, Allison. No!

 

Drapes

Too smart to work, too cool to care! Come to Turkey Point, man, if you dare! Too smart to work, too cool to care! Come to Turkey Point, man, if you dare! Too smart to work...

 

Baldwin

Hey, let her go. She's with me. Her name's Allison and she's a nice girl.

 

Cry-Baby

Allison, I'm sorry to get you locked up. But tonight... you were the coolest date I ever had.

 

Allison

But, Cry-Baby, who is that girl? Why didn't you tell me you already had a lady friend?

 

Cry-Baby

Lenora ain't nothing to me. I swear on my daddy's grave. I'm burning inside to touch you, baby.

 

Press Man 1

How do you feel about your granddaughter becoming a Drapette?

 

Press Man 2

Mrs Vernon Williams, a picture, please.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Please, no pictures.

 

Hatchet-Face

Get your hands off me! Let go of me! Get your hands off me!

 

Judge

Order. Order in this courtroom. What a sad vision of today's youth. The juvenile authorities have had it with Drape gangs. Milton Hackett. Wanda Woodward. Mona Malnorowski, also known as Hatchet-Face. You are blights on this community. Are the parents here?

 

Mr Hackett

Yes, your Honour. We've been praying all night for our son.

 

Mrs Hackett

Praying so hard we've got headaches.

 

Mr Woodward

Hi, Wanda, honey.

 

Mrs Woodward

You were on the radio.

 

Wanda

Would you just get me the fuck outta here?

 

Mrs Woodward

What's "fuck" mean, Hector?

 

Mr Woodward

Oh, Meg, it's just a teen nonsense word Wanda uses to make herself feel all grown up.

 

Mrs Woodward

Your Honour, could we take Wanda the fuck home?

 

Judge

Good God! Order. Order in this courtroom.

 

Mr Hackett

You hear that, your Honour? It's a sign. She's speaking in tongues. God's in her gullet. And he's in yours, too.

 

Mrs Hackett

(Mumbles incoherently)

 

Mr Hackett

Let him out. Let the words of the Saviour be heard.

 

Mrs Hackett

(Mumbles incoherently)

 

Judge

Order! Order! No wonder your children are in trouble. And you, Miss Malnorowski... By the way, that's a shame about your face.

 

Hatchet-Face

There's nothing the matter with my face. I got character.

 

Judge

I see that your parents haven't taken the trouble to come to get you.

 

Mr Malnorowski

Oh, yes, we did. You happy now, Mona? Huh? You finally did it. You put your own mother in an iron lung.

 

Judge

Mrs Malnorowski, there is no smoking in this courtroom.

 

Mrs Malnorowski

Why not? I pay taxes on cigarettes, don't I? And what do I get for those taxes? Happiness? Hell, no. I get tuberculosis. Oh, Christ! Now I got a flat tyre.

 

Judge

I am going to release these delinquents to their parents' custody. And if they were mine... I'd give them a bare-asses whipping.

 

Ramona

Oh, they can sing, your Honour. You should hear 'em. Oh! It's new, it's exciting.

 

Belvedere

We don't know what to call it. It sort of rocks, man, it, it spins.

 

Ramona

Yeah!

 

Belvedere

Nah, let me get the right words. It twirls. It twirls.

 

Judge

Ramona and Belvedere Rickettes, I find you guilty of disturbing the peace and I fine the both of you, one thousand dollars.

 

Ramona

But, that's all we have.

 

Belvedere

How are we supposed to live?

 

Judge

Damn you. Handcuff those brats.

 

Pepper

Don't touch my children!

 

Judge

And you, Pepper Walker... I'm going to have your two children put in the custody of the Chatterbox Orphanage, until they are adopted by God-fearing parents who at least will give them Christian names.

 

Pepper

Not my children. They're my flesh and blood.

 

Cry-Baby

She's a good mother.

 

Pepper

They're all I have!

 

Judge

Mrs Tadlock.

 

Pepper

Get away from them. You leave my kids alone!

 

Ramona

Don't you touch them kids.

 

Mrs Tadlock

Come on.

 

Pepper

I love you, children.

 

Judge

Wade Walker, better known as Cry-Baby... What a sad and silly name for a young man. You were the ringleader in tonight's gang war.

 

Allison

Grandmother, help him. We were just singing together.

 

Cry-Baby

Judge, let Allison go and I'll take the full blame. I didn't mean no harm, Mrs Vernon Williams. I may be a Drape, but I love your granddaughter. And if that's a crime, I'll stand convicted... ma'am.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Your Honour, I am Allison's grandmother. And, er, if Mr Walker does have a musical talent... I am willing to give him a second chance. Won't you? The boy is at least polite.

 

Judge

Mrs Vernon Williams... are you aware that Negroes were present at tonight's disturbance?

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

My granddaughter is fond of all kinds of music.

 

Judge

I am going to release Allison this one time... because you are a fine and beautiful woman, Mrs Vernon Williams. But not you, Cry-Baby Walker. The only place you're going to sing is in jail.

 

Allison

No!

 

Judge

I find you guilty of rampant juvenile delinquency... and I hereby sentence you... to the Maryland Training School for Boys until your twenty-first birthday.

 

Cry-Baby

Ha!

 

Judge

Court dismissed! Lock him up!

 

Ramona

You can't lock up his music!

 

Cry-Baby

I'll get out, sugar dumpling, I'll get out if it's the last thing I do! I swear!

 

Allison

Cry-Baby!

 

Lenora

Boy, do I have a story for you.

 

Press Man 1

How does it feel to be a juvenile delinquent?

 

Cry-Baby

It feels good. I've never been so happy in my whole life. Lenora you filthy hag. I wouldn't let you shine my boots! Allison's my girl. A-L-L-I-S-O-N, fellows.

 

Press Man 2

When did he propose?

 

Lenora

Just last night. You see, I'm pregnant with his child. You know that Cry-Baby is an orphan. He wants his baby to have a real family... for the family that he himself never had.

 

Inmates

(Arguing and Shouting)

 

Warder

Shut up! Shut up! Delinquents, hit the sack!

 

Inmate 1

I swear.

 

Warder

Strip down, asshole. It's beddy-bye time. Now don't for get to say your prayers. God bless my probation officer!

 

Inmates

God bless my probation officer.

 

Warder

God bless the draft board!

 

Inmates

God bless the draft board.

 

Warder

God bless the juvenile authorities!

 

Inmates

God bless the juvenile authorities.

 

Warder

We're gonna give you a haircut tomorrow, pretty boy. You ever hear of a whiffle? Well, that's what you're gonna get, you big old cry-baby, you. God bless Dwight Eisenhower!

 

Inmates

God bless Dwight Eisenhower.

 

Warder

God bless Roy Cohn!

 

Inmates

God bless Roy Cohn.

 

Warder

God bless Richard Nixon!

 

Inmates

God bless Richard Nixon.

 

Warder

Nighty-night, boys.

 

Allison

Cry-Baby.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Teardrops are falling. Teardrops are falling.

 

Inmates(singing)

Cry, go on, cry. Cry, go on, cry.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Teardrops are falling. Out my eyes. Teardrops are falling. I wonder why. Teardrops are falling. For you made me cry.

 

Dupree(singing)

Yes, teardrops are falling. Falling from my eyes. Yes, yes, yes. You made me cry. When you went away. You stayed away so long. Come back, my dear.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

My heart is aching. Almost breaking. If you hear me. Come back to me. Teardrops are falling. And you made me cry.

 

Inmates(singing)

Cry, don't cry. Cry, don't cry. Cry, don't cry. Cry, don't cry.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Oh, God.

 

Radio Announcer

Call these Drapettes bold, call them brazen, but whatever you do, don't call them Square. Yes, mothers, you should be worried. Following last night's disturbance at Turkey Point, Cry-Baby Walker, convicted delinquent, had the nerve to announce his engagement to fellow gang member and known hussy... Lenora Frigid, mother-to-be of his child.

 

Lenora

Cry-Baby is an orphan. And he wants his baby to have a real family... for the family that he himself never had.

 

Radio Announcer

Wade Walker, defiantly entering the Maryland Training School for Boys had this to say...

 

Cry-Baby

It feels good, man. I've never been so happy in my whole life.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Hurry, Allison, hide. The newspapers have blown this completely out of proportion.

 

Allison

He lied to me, grandmother. And the whole world knows I'm just a Drape fool.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Heavy hangs the head, that last night wore the crown. Allison.

 

Baldwin & Whiffles(singing)

The naughty lady of Shady Lane. Has hit the town like a bomb. The back-fence gossip ain't been this good. Since Mabel ran off with Tom. Our town was peaceful and quiet. Before she came on the scene. The lady has started a riot. Disturbing the suburban routine...

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Allison Vernon Williams, you don't have to decide today. Give your heart some time to think.

 

Baldwin & Whiffles(singing)

The naughty lady of Shady Lane. So delectable. Quite respectable. Me, oh, my, what a girl.

 

Baldwin

Allison, would you sing with me today?

 

Dupree

Hey, man, you old lady's on the radio. There's trouble, Cry-Baby, big trouble.

 

Cry-Baby

Allison!

 

Baldwin

There's a new place that's opening. It's... sorta wild, kinda cool. It's called a theme park and it's the first in the state of Maryland.

 

Allison

I'd be proud to, Baldwin. Cry-Baby Walker, I hope you're happy with Lenora. I only have one thing to say to you. I think you're a liar, and a cad... and I spit on your tears.

 

Baldwin

I can sing better than Cry-Baby Walker any day of the week.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Well, I ain't here 'cos I drive too fast. And I'm too young to have a criminal past. Some good behaviour would be all right. But I don't seem to qualify. I'm just out for a little fun. But I'm guilty till I'm twenty-one. I guess I'm doing time for being young. So cut these shackles off of me.

 

Inmates(singing)

Let me go. Let me go.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

This kind of suit don't set me free.

 

Inmates(singing)

Set me free. Set me free.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Well, I can't live if I can't ride.

 

Inmates(singing)

Let me ride. Let me ride.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

And I want my baby by my side.

 

Inmates(singing)

I want my baby by my side.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Yes, I'm just out for a little fun. But I'm guilty till I'm twenty-one. I guess I'm doing time for being young. Now, I can't let the right thing stand in my way. Someday, baby, I'll know better. But right now I'm making them pay. What do I do, who do I thank?

 

Inmates(singing)

What can I do? What can I do?

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

To get me out of this stinking tank.

 

Inmates(singing)

Stinking tank. Stinking tank.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

It's heartbreaking to be this age.

 

Inmates(singing)

Stuck in a cage. Stuck in a cage.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Locked in the prison of teenage rage.

 

Inmates(singing)

Stuck in a cage with a teenage rage.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Well, I was out for a little fun. I guess I'm guilty till I'm twenty-one. I must be doing time for being young.

 

Inmates(singing)

Stuck in a cage with a teenage rage.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

I don't want to be doing time for being young.

 

Wanda

Who the hell is this?

 

Mrs Woodward

This is Inga. She's from Sweden. She's an exchange student. And she's going to be staying with us for a while.

 

Mr Woodward

Inga, this is our daughter, Wanda. Say hello.

 

Inga

Ja.

 

Wanda

I'm blowing this joint.

 

Mr Woodward

Look, Inga doesn't understand English very well. Inga, say hello to Wanda.

 

Inga

Ja?

 

Mrs Woodward

Say hello to our daughter.

 

Inga

Ja.

 

Mr Woodward

Er, honey, why don't you come over and sit down? Get to know one another. Look at all the wonderful presents she's brought us from her native land.

 

Mrs Woodward

Let's all put on a folk hat and learn something about a foreign culture.

 

Mr Woodward

Do we have a surprise for you? Don't we, Meg?

 

Mrs Woodward

We sure do. All this silly trouble you've been having lately... Wanda, honey, you're going to Sweden, this afternoon at three o'clock.

 

Wanda

You mean you swapped me? For a milkmaid?

 

Mr Woodward

Oh, honey... Inga's mater and pater will treat you just like one of the family. Ja, Inga?

 

Inga

Ja. Ja, ja.

 

Wanda

You want to learn about America, Inga? In America, we like boys. We like hot boys. Boys with roaming hands and rushing fingers.

 

Mrs Woodward

Wanda, honey, want some Ovaltine?

 

Inga

Ja. Ja, ja.

 

Wanda

Yeah, I'm just a bebop baby. And I don't take nothing from no one. See you later daddy-o's. Have a cool Yule and a frantic First.

 

Toe-Joe

Hey, you going my way?

 

Wanda

Oh, it's you. You ever hear of something called a theme park?

 

Toe-Joe

Yeah, there's a big opening over there today.

 

Wanda

Well, that's where I'm going, stallion.

 

Toe-Joe

Well, hop on in.

 

Dupree

Hold on, homeboy. Almost done. I know it hurts, but being this cool's always a pain.

 

Cry-Baby

Ah, the pain ain't nothing, Dupree. I've been hurt all my life, but real tears wash away. Ow! This one's for Allison and I want it to last forever.

 

Dupree

Oh. There you go. It's a beauty. You never have to cry again.

 

Warder

I heard talking in here. What's that on your face, blubber-boy?

 

Cry-Baby

Are you blind? It's a lonely teardrop.

 

Warder

Now ain't that cute? It ought to go real good with your new haircut.

 

Cry-Baby

I ain't getting no haircut.

 

Warder

You want to bet? You're next, sniffle-snot.

 

Dupree

Cry-Baby, look! It's your only chance, man.

 

Cry-Baby

Nobody's gonna turn me Square, Dupree. I want my girl... I want my family, and I want my gang. Thanks for the tattoo.

 

Milton

Come on, gorgeous.

 

Hatchet-Face

Look. Is that the prison? Move over, Milton. Let me try. Geronimo!

 

Inmate 1

Look at that!

 

Inmate 2

What do we have here?

 

Inmate 3

Who is that?

 

Hatchet-Face

This is a jailbreak!

 

Cry-Baby

Milton! Hatchet!

 

Hatchet-Face

Cry-Baby, where are you? Cry-Baby!

 

Inmate 4

He's in the library!

 

Inmate 5

No, no, he's in the cafeteria!

 

Inmate 6

No, man, he's in the hole!

 

Inmate 7

No, this way, he's in the movies!

 

Inmate 8

That way!

 

Hatchet-Face

Cry-Baby!

 

Woman in Film

Hurry, David.

 

Man in Film

I've almost got it.

 

Inmate 9

Hurry up.

 

Inmate 10

Come on.

 

Cry-Baby

Whoa! What's down here? What, this way? Oh... thanks pal.

 

Mrs Tadlock

Just come right this way. Now, er, this is, er, Sheila. She's Caucasian, but that's about all I can recommend. Bad table manners.

 

Ramona

Ah, we were thinking of two children, actually.

 

Pepper

About six of seven years old.

 

Belvedere

With some spunk.

 

Mrs Tadlock

Well, what about him? Little Joey, mother's little helper. He not only vacuums, he does windows. Irons.

 

Ramona

Yes.

 

Pepper

Here, these are the ones we want.

 

Belvedere

A double-header.

 

Ramona

Oh, they're adorable. We'll take them.

 

Mrs Tadlock

Ah, now, that's a thing with two heads, absolutely not. Siamese twins are a financial burden. Sewing all those old school clothes together. You're nor psychologically equipped.

 

Pepper

Mrs Tadlock, these are my children, and I'm taking 'em with me.

 

Ramona

That's right, sister.

 

Mrs Tadlock

You! Let me out of here! Help!

 

Pepper

Good going. Good going.

 

Ramona

That was great.

 

Pepper

I'm so proud of you.

 

Ramona

Come on, we got to get to the Enchanted Forest. Turn left.

 

Belvedere

No, turn right.

 

Allison, Baldwin & Whiffles(singing)

Mister Sandman...

 

Baldwin(singing)

Yes...

 

Allison(singing)

Bring me a dream...

 

Allison, Baldwin & Whiffles(singing)

I am the cutest that she's ever seen. Give her the word that I'm not a rover. Then tell her that her lonesome nights are over...

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

What?

 

Ramona

Ssh.

 

Allison(singing)

Mister Sandman, I'm so alone. Don't have nobody to call my own. Please turn on your magic beam...

 

Baldwin & Whiffles(singing)

Mister Sandman, bring her a dream...

 

Allison, Baldwin & Whiffles(singing)

Mister Sandman, bring us a dream. Give him a pair of eyes with that come-hither gleam. Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci. And lots of wavy hair like Liberace. Mister Sandman, someone to hold. Would be so peachy before we're too old. So please turn on your magic beam. Mister Sandman, bring us. Please, please, please. Mister Sandman, bring us a dream.

 

Allison

Aargh!

 

Ramona

Yeah!

 

Baldwin & Whiffles

Drapes!

 

Milton

Allison Vernon Williams, the decision is yours.

 

Belvedere

You sand with the Squares. Now sing with the Drapes.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Yeah!

 

Hatchet-Face

Cry-Baby needs you.

 

Baldwin

We'll get married and live in suburbia. I love you, Allison.

 

Allison

I don't want to hurt you, Baldwin.

 

Lenora

I had my baby. Isn't he cute? I'm a Square now. Wave to Allison.

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

You may be a Square, Lenora, but you're still a tramp. Allison, pick the man who loves you the most.

 

Allison(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer, won't you let my man go free? Please, Mr Jailer, won't you let my man go free? He don't belong in prison, though he's as guilty as can be. But the only crime he's guilty of, is simply loving me. Please, Mr Jailer, won't you let my man go free?

 

Allison & Inmates(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer...

 

Allison(singing)

Won't you let my man go free? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Allison & Inmates(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer, won't you let this jailbird free?

 

Allison(singing)

Just look into his eyes. Open up that door. Just listen to his guitar, you'll know the score.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer, let an honest man go free.

 

Allison(singing)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Cry-Baby & Inmates(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer, don't you make no lifer out of me.

 

Inmates(singing)

I'm innocent, I swear it. Let my woman testify. She'll tell you where I was that night.

 

Allison & Inmates(singing)

Yeah, I'm his alibi.

 

Inmates(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer...

 

Allison(singing)

Won't you let my man go free?

 

Cry-Baby & Inmates(singing)

Well, I'm tired of pressing licence plates, down in this rotten hole. I gotta reach the outside before I lose control.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer, don't you make no lifer out of me.

 

Allison(singing)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Tannoy

Walker, Wade Walker, you have a visitor.

 

Cry-Baby & Inmates(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer, let me out of this penitentiary.

 

Inmate(singing)

Let me out.

 

Cry-Baby & Inmates(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer, don't you make no lifer out of me. Please, Mr Jailer...

 

Allison(singing)

Won't you let my baby go free? Oh-oh, Whoa-oh. Let my man go free.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Whoa-oh. Don't make no lifer out of me.

 

Cry-Baby & Inmates(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer, can't you see how much love she's got for me?

 

Allison(singing)

Well, let him go, let him go. Let him go. Let my man go free.

 

Cry-Baby & Inmates(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer...

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Well, let me out.

 

Cry-Baby & Inmates(singing)

Please, Mr Jailer, don't make me shout. Please, Mr Jailer...

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Well, let me out.

 

Baldwin

Criminal!

 

Judge

Cry-Baby Walker, society has given you a second chance. You're rehabilitated now. Here is three dollars and fifty cents. And a pair of clean underwear.

 

Lenora, Baldwin & Whiffles

Boo! Boo! Boo!

 

Baldwin

You think you're a big man, Cry-Baby. But you're lower than your dead father. And guess who pulled the switch on that jerk? My grand-pappy, that's who. And every Christmas since, my whole family gathers together and he re-tells the story of the day he electrocuted your daddy... and we just laugh.

 

Hatchet-Face

Let me punch his ugly face.

 

Cry-Baby

It's okay, Hatchet. You're beautiful, baby. But I'll take care of this maggot. Do you know how to play the automobile game called "chicken"?

 

Baldwin

Sure, my can and your jalopy. We head toward one another at full speed. First to turn the wheel before we smash is a chicken.

 

Judge

Is that legal?

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Stop this insanity.

 

Cry-Baby

I got some new rules, sucker. How 'bout you and me on top of the car?

 

Baldwin

I'm man enough, you big cry-baby.

 

Cry-Baby

That's Mr Baby to you. Fellows of the press, this chicken race tonight is for my daddy. And I'd like to sing something in his memory, something... hillbilly. Something coloured. Something my daddy would have loved.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

You call us hoods, and say we've gone mad. 'Cos we feel so good when we're being bad. We're high school hellcats.

 

Drapes(singing)

On our own.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

High school hellcats.

 

Drapes(singing)

Almost grown.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Come on and pick a fight, I wish you would. We love being bad.

 

Drapes(singing)

'Cos it sure feels good.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Wow!

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Baldwin, please. Be a gentleman and call off this race, it's too dangerous.

 

Baldwin

Mrs Vernon Williams, you were born a Square and you're gonna die a Square. You're coming with me.

 

Whiffle

Come on!

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

No!

 

Whiffle

Come on!

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

No!

 

Allison(singing)

Yeah. Stand back, look out. We're renegade teens. Friends of the devil. But twice as mean. We're looking for kicks. We want them now. We're gonna get them.

 

Drapes(singing)

And we don't care how.

 

Allison(singing)

We're high school hellcats.

 

Drapes(singing)

On our own.

 

Allison(singing)

High school hellcats.

 

Drapes(singing)

Almost grown.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Come on, pick a fight. We wish you would. We love being bad.

 

Drapes(singing)

'Cos it sure feels good.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Come on! Come on! Come on! Who-oo! Well, you lock us up in your schools. We weren't born to live by rules...

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Get down from there this minute.

 

Baldwin

Sit down, you traitor.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

When you say stop, I say go, cat, go. We're high school hellcats.

 

Drapes(singing)

On our own.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

High school hellcats.

 

Baldwin

Cry-Baby!

 

Drapes(singing)

On our own...

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

What are you doing?

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

.Wish you would. We love being bad.

 

Pepper(singing)

'Cos it feels so good.

 

Pepper

Uh-uh. Yes.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

USA, the land of the free. We should be what we want to be. But everyone says we should be like them.

 

Cry-Baby & Allison(singing)

But we're high school hellcats and we never fit in.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

We're high school hellcats...

 

Mrs Vernon Williams

Allison, Help! Help me!

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

Come on and pick a fight, we wish you would. We love being bad.

 

Drapes(singing)

'Cos it sure feels good.

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

We're high school hellcats. We're high school hellcats. Come on a pick a fight, we wish you would. We love being bad, 'cos it sure feels good. We love being bad, 'cos it sure feels good.

 

Baldwin

Turn the wheel!

 

Cry-Baby(singing)

'Cos it sure feels good.

 

Baldwin

Chicken!

 

Cry-Baby

Yeah!

 

THE END

 

TO INDEX SCRIPTS